There are numerous known causes of homosexuality and one is sexual molestation and sexual abuse. This violation has not been found to cause same-sex attraction exclusively but in combination with other factors. Typically, the sexual abuse occurs within the first ten years of life. Because this occurs so early in life, an adult can feel pretty normal and yet be operating out of this trauma wound in life.

The abused adult has programmed in them that connection with another person will occur sexually. They don’t think this in their thoughts; rather it is programmed into their unconscious emotions. When loneliness, boredom or emptiness presents itself then sexual contact becomes the antidote to these feelings. This is why so many homosexual men believe they were born homosexual. As an adult, they have had same-sex attraction for so long they cannot imagine feeling anything different toward men. This is what is expected given these men have been sexually violated as a boy.

When you discover your adult child’s same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria, something has gone wrong. Most parents know that, but the search for why can be a long and painful one. I have never met a mother that did not go on this search in order to apprehend the abnormal gender development of her child. Dad’s do also, however, I have found they are fewer in number.

Your adult son has disclosed his same-sex attraction or relationship. In your crisis moment, you are falling apart, devastated! You never saw it coming! You feel hopeless and you are emotionally going downhill every day. Where do you go to get your life back?

Go to your prayer place and release your pain to Jesus

Your pain is so real and, if you hold it in, you will suffer even more. You must release it to Jesus. He wants to take it from you. This is not wishful thinking. Jesus prepared his disciples for his departure from them (John 16:16-22). Jesus knew his disciples would suffer the loss of Jesus when He left the earth. This is no different than the loss you are suffering. Your loss is the loss of your hopes and dreams for your son and yourself. It feels like your dreams are dying. That is no different than the death of a loved one. This is no different than the death of Jesus.

Your heart will one day rejoice! This is exactly what Jesus said to his disciples. “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” This is the redemption of your dreams!  This is a promise, not a wish. Jesus will take your sorrow and turn it into your joy one day. Jesus compared this to the pain you felt in birthing your child contrasted by the joy you felt when you saw your baby boy born. This is pure joy.

If your son’s or daughter’s same-sex attraction has recently been disclosed to you most likely, you are in shock. You never saw it coming! This disclosure brings great sadness to most parents who have had dreams for their child since their birth. That dream is that your child would grow up healthy, get educated, marry the opposite gender love-of-their-life, and have a family of their own.

That dream just got crushed and you are devastated. You are in shock because another part of your child came forth that was hidden, the same-sex attracted part. You can’t believe that this big issue could be hidden all of their life. You are facing the greatest crisis of his/her life. I want you to know that there are many parents who have experienced the exact same thing and feel just as you do. I am sure of that because I see them in my office. You, like those other parents, will make it through this desert.