There are numerous known causes of homosexuality and one is sexual molestation and sexual abuse. This violation has not been found to cause same-sex attraction exclusively but in combination with other factors. Typically, the sexual abuse occurs within the first ten years of life. Because this occurs so early in life, an adult can feel pretty normal and yet be operating out of this trauma wound in life.
The abused adult has programmed in them that connection with another person will occur sexually. They don’t think this in their thoughts; rather it is programmed into their unconscious emotions. When loneliness, boredom or emptiness presents itself then sexual contact becomes the antidote to these feelings. This is why so many homosexual men believe they were born homosexual. As an adult, they have had same-sex attraction for so long they cannot imagine feeling anything different toward men. This is what is expected given these men have been sexually violated as a boy.
A study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found 46 percent of men who defined their sexual orientation as either bisexual or homosexual reported they were sexually abused as a child. This is compared to 20 percent of heterosexual men who report they have been sexually abused as a child. The researcher states; “Given these findings, it appears that being sexually abused as a child may affect the propensity of adult men to fantasize about young men.”
Sexual abuse teaches victims that their bodies are not really their own. Victims often report feelings such as shame, terror, depression, anxiety, and guilt, and many blame themselves for the assault. One of the mental health challenges survivors of sexual abuse face includes attachment disruptions. Attachment disruption is the difficulty in connecting in relationships with others. These individuals may feel distant or rejected by others. While it becomes difficult to connect with others there remains the need of every human to feel connected to others. Belonging in relationship to others by feeling accepted for who they are is essential. This is where same-sex attraction can be experienced.
The attraction of homosexual men to other men is an attempt to connect. It is the man’s attempt to belong with other men so he can feel accepted as a man. Because this need is so deep the need is sexualized. For the sexually violated man, sex is a familiar connection with other men. This is not the end of the story and because a man is sexually violated does not mean they are sentenced to a homosexual lifestyle.
There Is Hope
Fortunately, there is something that can be done to heal the root of sexual violation. Psychotherapy, recovery groups and inner healing prayer have been effective avenues that give men relief and allow them to connect with other men in a healthy manner. The healthier manner is that men can be close friends without having sex. There is a healthy attachment that is needed for men to finally feel belonging to other males and find confidence in themselves as a male.
In California, we are on the cusp of a potential psychological disaster. The gay community has effectively lobbied to ban treatment and help for men who are sexually abused. Many men now realize their pain and have an unwanted same-sex attraction. The gay community is attempting to block anyone who has same-sex attraction to get healing. Are heterosexual persons who have experienced sexual violation blocked from receiving treatment? Of course not! Why would we not do that for a same-sex attracted man?